Hue, I have never read her books and only listened to the CD once! And I have to say I was listening to the music in a competitive way! "Heretic!" the interesting thing is the thought of not being allowed to read them if I so wished. Christ, they used to burn books didn't they? This does sound like the thought police from 1984. I often follow The Independent newspaper's articles / campaign for rights for the mentally ill. It is scary what 2 doctors can do. The Independent. It is, are you? - Q (how poetic!) ▪

qub – they burnt disco too, and some still say that that was a good thing; the loss of information is never a good thing, nor is the holding back of information.

i was just talking with a friend that i have not spoken to for a few years; she mentioned to me that a friend of hers who has just finished her training as a social worker; is not obliged to mention to either the patient or family of a patient that resides in a mental hospital for the first time, that both the family and the patient may appeal immediately to the act of sectioning.

it was not until my mother had sort information via a subscription magazine dedicated to the issue of mental health – ‘Rethink’ – previously call ‘The national Schizophrenia Foundation’ that we discovered this information of appealing against my committal.

nor are the doctors obliged to remind regulaly that a person who may not wish to be keep in such an unnerving unfamiliar place, that they might appeal. so who is? a solicitor that you are allocated and which is paid for by legal aid if one does not have such funds. but your solicitor will not visit or be there to get you out if the patient does not request them to do so; and heavily medicated, one does not have such capabilities at the ready especially if cognitive issues are troubling one. mostly it falls under the social workers work-load to keep arranging that a patient receives his social rights. but up until recently it was only the oldest parent or next of kin that could be present at such meeting to raise objections to the social workers line of questing – of which is prying beyond the point of reasonable necessity. & there is nothing you can really do once such records are made in places like that.

my own troubles of sectioning are quite extended. medication was administered before a bloods test was done, or before a day or two had past in which they might also be able to assess the nature of my appearances. i did actually go against a panel of five people, which was not of my asking for, but an assessment to the first section that they placed, to change it to a six-month removal. now this was all ok with myself and my family, who had planned and hope that i would be able to convince this panel that i would be better off in remission at home. but an hour before i had to show my face to people i’ve had no contact with in the past, i was given old anti-psychotic drugs. Chlorpromazine to be exact – introduced in the mid-50s. as i was waiting to see this set of people that could offer me the outside world, devastating side effects from the Chlorpromazine started to interfere with not only my cognitive functions but my muscles throughout my body, i might as well not have been there. they chose to hold me further. i would like to add i have never committed a violent act nor do i intend to. i have very little malice inside me. their reason for choosing to put me there first off was because i went to give a lady a hug for sitting with me after i had been yelling my freewill; the police who turned up at my local GP surgery, who had been there less then two minutes, handcuffed me, took me in their van in front of my father and mother, with me making little or no resistance. put me in a cell, which i might add through me way off balance, a doctor entered the room, asked me if there was anything he could do for me – to which i replied that there was not. they then took the decision that i should be moved to a closed ward (locked ward – magnetic if your were wondering). as they moved me to the second van i was zip tied both my arms and legs – to which my restance was little; in fact i remanded still and let them carry me. i did ask if i may have my shoes that were just outside the cell door but they refused; only later to give them back to me in hosptial without shoe laces.

i was admittedly suffering from hallucinations that where heavily projecting them upon my rational state of awareness, i would hear the hallucinatory sounds far more then the voices of people that where trying to talk, in some cases they were dubbed with visual hallucination, tactile, taste and smell. none of this was actually alarming me – though i have never had such strong layers of attention before. in fact i was euphoric right up to the moment that they injected me with Chlorpromazine and a cocktail of others medications. i’ve seen myself at least a foot away from rock bottom; rock bottom being taking ones life, or consciousness.

i’m actually very glad of the experience, as i truly now have no faith at all for our current societies methods of care for their members; of which they subscript at such a young age that they can not object to the institutionalisation – installing fake hopes of a better life with dashes of hate here and there as seasoning conditioning.

if i could get a permanent grant or funding to keep me out of societies reach i would apply instantly. if you where wondering it was a natural chemical that forms in the brain called dopamine that had over produced, due to smoking tobacco and hydroponic buds, drinking a fair bit, very little sleep for over a year and a half and deaths in the family. some days i was able to go without sleep for three days and be quite active, especial cognitive wise; so much writing was produced, so much time to hear music read make, so much of the day was enjoyed, the full rotational experience.

talk soon. hue. ▪

Dr Green's latest monthly column on metal illness is pertinent. A while back she guested on an edition of BBC All in The Mind (Radio 4), together with Charles McCreery. (Whatever happened to him?) The current series of All in the Mind has featured various people whose only claim to mental ill-health has been: "I thought my telephone was being bugged." Hey, it probably was! ▪